Denial and isolation are hallmarks of bad choices. These behaviors are easy to fall into without the support and perspective of others, and they make it difficult to achieve lasting and stable progress in recovery. It is important to enlist the help of appropriate and effective supporters as soon as possible. Deciding when and from whom to ask for support is a personal decision.
Initially, it may be difficult to reach out to family or friends for help; it may be easier to identify someone in a recovery meeting whom you can lean on for support. Generally, the more people you have as a support, the better recovery will be. Once you identify a potential support person, it can be humbling and scary to ask him or her for help. However, as you do, you may be surprised at the amount of love and acceptance you feel. Some of the most effective support people are those who are fully active in the Church and who have worked through the principles in each of the 12 steps to overcome these behaviors.
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When seeking support, it is essential to find people who have explored their weaknesses, confessed them, and worked on overcoming them through various resources, especially through the Savior Jesus Christ and His Atonement. A support person who has overcome his or her own weaknesses can have empathy for the emotional pathway that others are traveling. Those who have recovered can recognize the experience of those who are struggling and can act as an example and help participants use the tools of recovery.
You should choose support people of the same gender if you are not related to them. As you begin recovery, you may be physically, emotionally, and spiritually vulnerable. Be cautious to not develop an inappropriate relationship with a support person.
Your suggestions as a support person are only as effective as your personal study, understanding, and application of gospel principles. As you strive each day to put off the natural man and become a saint through the Atonement see Mosiah , your example will be powerful to those who turn to you for guidance and strength. The example you show as you seek the Savior and His Atonement can be more important than any counsel you will ever share with program participants.
By making others aware of helpful principles and practices and then simply allowing them to make their own decisions, you demonstrate respect for their sacred agency. You agreeing to be a support person does not mean others should have unlimited access to your time and resources.
- 12 Step Focus.
- Ten Fundamental Questions of Curating.
- Christian Drug Rehab.
You can set an example of the importance of healthy boundaries by honoring your other commitments, including to your family, the Church, professional endeavors, and personal time. Selfless service requires giving without expecting anything in return. You should avoid seeking praise, admiration, loyalty, or other emotional rewards from those you serve. On the other hand, few people learn all they need to know to stay sober without some slips or mistakes.
If you learn from it and work what trigger behind it, then it can strengthen sobriety. When I slipped for an evening it actually strengthened my resolve to keep going! I have complex ptsd so triggers can be a challenge. Instead of beating myself up the morning after I show compassion and love. I reinforce how much I love being without alcohol and how the fleeting effect of alcohol pales to the lingering sense of well being abstaining offers. I reinforce the good and love the part of me that was hurting and grabbed for the old tool.
I continue to reinforce new self soothing skills and actually enjoy the healthy over the old pathway to self destruction. I connect abstinence with self love which is helping me recover from the root cause of the complex ptsd. Alcohol was the relationship I turned to because that was what I learned. Now I am relearning. I had numerous one night lapses until I finally felt my self worth. I had to learn to love myself unconditionally and that means even the lapses.
These days when the thought of having wine strikes I immediately call to mind how I felt when I was intoxicated with everything bad associated. Then I think about how good I feel putting things inside of me that recovers me instead of having to recover from.
I reinforce the successes. However, I have. I drop the guilt and shame about passing it on to my now adult children. Out of everyone who inherited the dysfunction I am doing something about it. And, that is grace. That is repenting and seeking a higher path.
I Forgive You : Pathway to Recovery
That will flow to others. During recovery people fall away. Thanks so much for sharing your story! Keep up the great work. I also agree. I detoxed myself with valium the first 2 weeks as I live alone with my dog and have had fits in the past. For example yesterday a addict owed me money and I let him in my house as he brought me up the money. I almost had a lapse.. I would love to read your book. Can someone please help me out Thank you Tina.
What would you like to do Tina?
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All the best, HughK. Husband and I choose to have 2 glasses of wine on Fri and Sat. By wed, I snuck some wine in my tea.
Thankfully a peer outreach worker kept checking on and encouraging me to seek treatment—she brought me to a non-medical detox on June 22, , and I began my recovery journey. I now work as a Rapid Responder at the treatment center that returned me to a happy, joyous, productive, and contributing member of society.
Recovery has given me the opportunity to be a mother to my children, a daughter to my parents, and an individual who believes in the potential of others who might be struggling with the hopeless state of mind addiction causes. I always excelled in school and presented well. However, unbeknownst to me and everyone else, I was living with undiagnosed and untreated mental illness.
High school became more and more challenging until someone offered me a prescription medication. This medication relieved me of all the suffering that I was experiencing from major depression and anxiety. At age 18, I was assaulted with a baseball bat and was prescribed a large amount of opiates. Things progressed until I found heroin that was cheaper and more accessible and despite many attempts with the best intentions, I could not stop on my own. By age 20, I had overdosed from heroin on three separate occasions, and each time, my overdose was reversed with naloxone.
I needed several second chances, but eventually I was afforded access to quality treatment. I have since sustained recovery, which for me means that I have not had to use alcohol or other drugs since May, I grew up in Greenville, North Carolina. When I was 12, my mother had knee surgery and was prescribed pain killers.
Today, at 21 years of age, I am in recovery, working on getting an education so I can become a social worker to help other young people avoid my experience. My addiction began with alcohol at age 11, and quickly progressed. I suffered severe childhood abuse and trauma, and never knew what true happiness felt like until I began using. I felt that the only time I could bear my life was when I was using opiates and I was hooked immediately.
I, like so many others, rode the train of addiction all the way to the bottom — homelessness, banned from my family, in and out of treatment and incarceration. I prayed for death on a daily basis and pushed the limits of it constantly. I gave my devastating addiction 22 years of my life, but today I can tell my story of redemption. After a nine-month relapse four years ago, my perspective finally shifted from looking into the eyes of death to striving to find the purpose that I was created for.
I often tell people that if I can do it, anyone can!
Related I Forgive You: Pathway to Recovery
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